It's been driving me crazy for half an hour now: What scent is sunscreen?

I've always labeled the smell "sunscreen-scented," but I remain convinced that that sunscreen scent is something in particular, right? There's got to be a better name for it. What is that smell, anyway? My sunscreen bottle (which is most definitely sunscreen-scented) helpfully just says, "Fragrance." Thanks for that helpful info, sunscreen! *face palm*

Gawd, I feel like a moron for not knowing this...

Tags: life
Current Mood: frustrated

Speaking of 1) how academic my life is now, and 2) anteaters, this is what we spent an hour debating in the dictionary office today:

( Whee! )

Tags: anteaters, ddp, srs bizns

You know, every single time there's a debate on birth control, there's always that one guy who's all, "Women wouldn't need the pill if they just stopped being sluts!" Now, I want to punch such guys in the balls in general, but even more specifically because they just do not get that the pill is NOT just for birth control.

I propose the following solution. Every time a man says something like this, a woman will arrive at his house. She will then kick him in the balls. She will inform him calmly that exactly one month from now the exact same thing will happen. She will then give him a pill. She will tell him that, if he takes this pill, he will not get kicked in the balls next month. This will be repeated until he stops being an ass or his balls fall off, whichever comes first. My bet? He'll take the damn pill within five fucking seconds, hoping it will make this time go away.

Seriously, why is this under debate? Do these guys actually want more women PMSing around them? *sigh*

Tags: assholes (not the good kind)
Current Mood: annoyed

I am going to have a fucking huuuuuuuuuuuge plate of pasta for dinner. It's going to be ginormous. If anyone saw this plate of pasta, they'd be all, "Whoa! That plate of pasta is gigantic!" It's going to be so big, I'll totally be afraid that I won't be able to eat it all. But then I will anyway, because I am hungry. It's going to be amazing. Now, if only the water would boil...

P.S. Aren't you all so glad you have me on your flists now? Otherwise, you might have missed this epic, life-altering post. :P

Tags: life
Current Mood: hungry

You know how sometimes you buy food, and the box will have a recipe on it? Well, that happened with the sugar I bought today, and I just had to share this brilliant recipe with all of you so that this amazing font of wisdom will be spread through kitchens across the country - and, dare I say it? - even the world. Behold its brilliance:

"Colored Sugar

"Place 1/2 cup Domino®* Granulated Sugar in a small container with a tight fitting lid. Add 1 drop of liquid food coloring. Cover and shake well. Continue adding 1 or 2 more drops of food coloring, shaking well after each addition, to obtain desired color."

*Other brands of sugar WILL NOT WORK because Domino® Granulated Sugar has extra speshul food color absorbing properties that everything else in the world doesn't.

Truly, a culinary masterpiece there! I can understand why they needed to include that on my sugar box. How has the world survived so long without? *is easily amused*

In other news, this is what happens when fic writers fail Similes 101:

"He yelled like he was giving birth for the first time."

And, no, it wasn't mpreg...although I don't know if that would have made things better or worse. o.O

And now, after this entirely pointless post, we will return to today's regularly-scheduled LJ programming.

Tags: silly
Current Mood: amused

This is why you don't report on investment schemes in front of a flock of ostriches:



Ostriches: 1; Reporters: 0.

Also, is a group of ostriches really called a flock? A herd? OMG, I do not know! It seems like there should be a special term for it like gaggle for geese or murder for crows. And if there isn't a word for it yet, I'd like to nominate "silliness." "A silliness of ostriches" just sounds so fitting, you know? :P

ETA: Ha! I found my answer! Apparently, a group of ostriches is a flock. That's just no fun at all. *pouts* On the other hand, a cackle of hyenas cracks my shit up.

And nothing for anteaters? :( This is, of course, because anteaters don't form groups. But if they did, I remain confident that it would be called "a cuddly of anteaters." *cuddles*

Tags: silly
Current Mood: amused

You know when you see something really weird, but it's in passing so you don't have the chance to get an explanation for WTF is going on, and you realize that you will never, ever know what that shit was about? That totally happened to me today.

I was outside the gym, and a group of about ten people left while I was waiting. They were clearly some type of group or team. Half of them held kendo swords, and the other half had drums.

...

No, seriously! What on earth were they doing in that gym? I really want to know. All the possibilities in my mind are lolarious.

Tags: life, silly
Current Mood: curious

We got an important visit from the department's IT guy today...telling us to watch this video of a dancing parrot:

( Read more... )

The best thing was that every single office I went into all afternoon, someone was playing this vid. Occasionally, we could hear applause coming from another office down the hall. We are mature! Ph34r our l337! :P

Tags: silly
Current Mood: amused

I just found someone who credits all their icons by listing the series creators. Instead of, y'know, the icon makers. Like, they would credit Kripke for this icon I'm using right now. And I know they didn't make the icons themselves, because I recognize some of them, so they can't even use that as an excuse. *face palm*

The universe causes me such great mental anguish at times...

Tags: strange
Current Mood: confused

I swear to god, I want to scream this so often:

( Saturday Night Live's Financial Guide: Don't Buy Stuff You Can't Afford! )

Tags: funny
Current Mood: amused

I have found something that's even cuter than a baby anteater, OMG! Behold:

( Friends don't ruin flists; large pics ruins flists. )

Tags: anteaters, cute
Current Mood: giddy

( Spoily, spoily! )

</most important post EVAH>

Tags: supernatural

The best thing about being a language nerd is laughing my ass off at bad translations of things. Behold, endless sources of amusement:

( Engrish As She Is Spoke: CONGRATURATION! YOU SUCSESS! )

Tags: silly
Current Mood: amused

I usually refrain from making political-type posts, but this afternoon an anti-gay, anti-Muslim hate group chose to have a protest literally across the street from my office, sporting signs such as "God hates Islam," "God hates America," "God hates fags," and "You eat your kids." ...Yeah. EPIC FAIL in Jesus' Teachings 101. Plz take remedial course, stat.

Luckily, the university population knew about this well in advance and had a nice, big, peaceful counter-protest that almost made up for the hate-mongering...

( Pictures & Stuff )

Tags: politics

Really, would a world in which Dr. McNinja doesn't punch out velociraptors be worth living in?

Or just try to imagine a world in which you couldn't visit http://dinosaursfuckingrobots.com/ (which, BTW, is exactly what it sounds like; thanks to queenspanky for the link!) every day?

How did people manage without these necessities? :P

Tags: silly
Current Mood: amused

I have a bone to pick with writers of books/tv shows/movies/comic books/etc. everywhere. Strangely enough, this is one problem I see a lot in professional media, but not so much in fanfic. Hell, even Mary-Sue writers usually get this right! Really, for shame... Namely, my problem is this:

Character A exists. Character A is not your typical hero. Character A is an anti-hero, or sometimes even a villain or anti-villain. Character A is powerful, tough, jaded, brilliant, devious, and just all-around badass.

( How Character A ends up sucking anyway. Cut for long ranty-rant. )

Tags: rants
Current Mood: annoyed

Conversation overheard walking home from work:

Little!Girl: "I'm the witch of MORANIA!"
Mother: "You're a witch?"
Little!Girl: "I'm the good witch!"
Little!Brother: "I want you to be the bad witch!"
Little!Girl: *gleefully* "Okay!"

Ah, how I miss 6-year-old logic... :P

Tags: life
Current Mood: amused

This page over at tvtropes features this poem, obviously to be sung to the tune of 'Home on the Range':

Oh give me a clone, just a clone of my own
With its Y chromosome changed to an X
And when we're alone, just me and my clone
We'll both think of nothing but sex
- Isaac Asimov

1. AWESOME!

2. WHAT?! That attribution can't be real, right? o.O I found many variations of this using my google-fu, but no concrete answer...

3. tvtropes is dangerously addictive, yikes!


In other news, this is the greatest post to ever appear on fanficrants: 42-inch penis, WTF?! o.O. Unfortunately, I did a search on the quotes in the fic, and it seems it long ago vanished into the internet ether. :(

It makes me think that there should be some kind of contest, though. Who can find the most ludicrously over-sized penis in a work of fanfic? Because there's got to be some way of making all the bad!pr0n fun. The winner would get a lifetime's supply of brain-bleach. :P


ETA: Hahaha! BABY LLAMA! I sporfled like a mad woman, truemyth. Merci! :P

Tags: bad!fic, silly
Current Mood: amused

There's an Egyptologist named Poo. Mu-Chou Poo, to be exact. I just thought you all would want to know. *iz six*

Dear gods, it's such a Friday. Here are some memes to celebrate just how brain-dead and uncreative I am:

( Apparently, I'm a non-existent wise-ass, who says 'WTF?' way too often... )

Tags: egyptology, life, meme
Current Mood: amused

Normally I don't like to make fun of PETA, even though the amount of batshit expelled by the group is enormous, just because I can sort of see how some people might be trying to do good by joining. Even if it does seem like pretty much a doomed effort.

However, I can't do anything but point and laugh, Nelson-esque, at this:

PETA is trying to rename fish "sea kittens" to stop people from eating them in their new "Save the Sea Kittens!" campaign.

Say it with me all in unison now, folks: "Haha!"

Really, it's like shooting fish sea kittens in a barrel. :P

Tags: silly
Current Mood: incredulous