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You know, every single time there's a debate on birth control, there's always that one guy who's all, "Women wouldn't need the pill if they just stopped being sluts!" Now, I want to punch such guys in the balls in general, but even more specifically because they just do not get that the pill is NOT just for birth control. I propose the following solution. Every time a man says something like this, a woman will arrive at his house. She will then kick him in the balls. She will inform him calmly that exactly one month from now the exact same thing will happen. She will then give him a pill. She will tell him that, if he takes this pill, he will not get kicked in the balls next month. This will be repeated until he stops being an ass or his balls fall off, whichever comes first. My bet? He'll take the damn pill within five fucking seconds, hoping it will make this time go away. Seriously, why is this under debate? Do these guys actually want more women PMSing around them? *sigh* Tags: assholes (not the good kind) Current Mood: annoyed
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You know how sometimes you buy food, and the box will have a recipe on it? Well, that happened with the sugar I bought today, and I just had to share this brilliant recipe with all of you so that this amazing font of wisdom will be spread through kitchens across the country - and, dare I say it? - even the world. Behold its brilliance: "Colored Sugar "Place 1/2 cup Domino®* Granulated Sugar in a small container with a tight fitting lid. Add 1 drop of liquid food coloring. Cover and shake well. Continue adding 1 or 2 more drops of food coloring, shaking well after each addition, to obtain desired color." *Other brands of sugar WILL NOT WORK because Domino® Granulated Sugar has extra speshul food color absorbing properties that everything else in the world doesn't.Truly, a culinary masterpiece there! I can understand why they needed to include that on my sugar box. How has the world survived so long without? *is easily amused* In other news, this is what happens when fic writers fail Similes 101: "He yelled like he was giving birth for the first time." And, no, it wasn't mpreg...although I don't know if that would have made things better or worse. o.O And now, after this entirely pointless post, we will return to today's regularly-scheduled LJ programming. Tags: silly Current Mood: amused
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I usually refrain from making political-type posts, but this afternoon an anti-gay, anti-Muslim hate group chose to have a protest literally across the street from my office, sporting signs such as "God hates Islam," "God hates America," "God hates fags," and "You eat your kids." ...Yeah. EPIC FAIL in Jesus' Teachings 101. Plz take remedial course, stat. Luckily, the university population knew about this well in advance and had a nice, big, peaceful counter-protest that almost made up for the hate-mongering... ( Pictures & Stuff )Tags: politics
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I have a bone to pick with writers of books/tv shows/movies/comic books/etc. everywhere. Strangely enough, this is one problem I see a lot in professional media, but not so much in fanfic. Hell, even Mary-Sue writers usually get this right! Really, for shame... Namely, my problem is this: Character A exists. Character A is not your typical hero. Character A is an anti-hero, or sometimes even a villain or anti-villain. Character A is powerful, tough, jaded, brilliant, devious, and just all-around badass. ( How Character A ends up sucking anyway. Cut for long ranty-rant. )Tags: rants Current Mood: annoyed
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Conversation overheard walking home from work: Little!Girl: "I'm the witch of MORANIA!" Mother: "You're a witch?" Little!Girl: "I'm the good witch!" Little!Brother: "I want you to be the bad witch!" Little!Girl: *gleefully* "Okay!" Ah, how I miss 6-year-old logic... :P Tags: life Current Mood: amused
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This page over at tvtropes features this poem, obviously to be sung to the tune of 'Home on the Range': Oh give me a clone, just a clone of my own With its Y chromosome changed to an X And when we're alone, just me and my clone We'll both think of nothing but sex - Isaac Asimov 1. AWESOME! 2. WHAT?! That attribution can't be real, right? o.O I found many variations of this using my google-fu, but no concrete answer... 3. tvtropes is dangerously addictive, yikes! In other news, this is the greatest post to ever appear on fanficrants: 42-inch penis, WTF?! o.O. Unfortunately, I did a search on the quotes in the fic, and it seems it long ago vanished into the internet ether. :( It makes me think that there should be some kind of contest, though. Who can find the most ludicrously over-sized penis in a work of fanfic? Because there's got to be some way of making all the bad!pr0n fun. The winner would get a lifetime's supply of brain-bleach. :P ETA: Hahaha! BABY LLAMA! I sporfled like a mad woman, truemyth. Merci! :P Tags: bad!fic, silly Current Mood: amused
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