Today, at the big, decades-long research project for which I work, we realized - to our dismay - that we'd forgotten the lyrics to the Spiderman song. So, naturally, we spent the entire afternoon trying to reconstruct it back from the Spiderpig song from the Simpsons movie (of course, we knew all the lyrics to that). We could have just checked online, but that would have been cheating!

In conclusion, it's such a Friday. :P

Tags: ddp, silly
Current Mood: amused

To anybody who's still around from the days of yore when I was still in the BtVS and AtS fandoms, I've just closed down my old fic site, Forbidden Love. *waves at the happy little 'this site has moved' notice* Wow. They really do put in a lot of ads for free sites, don't they? o.O But, anyway, for far too long, it's been eating away at my cash flow (admittedly, at a very slow rate), and I have no intention of ever updating it again, so...yeah.

Anyone looking for my old fic (or, hey, my new fic, too! :D) can find it at my shiny, new site (well, relatively speaking; I've had it for a while, I just haven't advertised), Lunar Solstice and Other Nonsense, where sockherder is my gracious and generous host. I repay her by only writing about boys getting it on now. :P

And, wow, I've been putting off finalizing this forever, but now it's finally done. Whee! :D

Now, if I could just get rid of the spam bots on the new site so I could enable the anonymous review feature again. *face palm*

Tags: ats, btvs, fiction
Current Mood: accomplished

Every so often, I go cruising around the web, looking for funny stuff that I might be able to incorporate into a crack!fic some day. I was reminded again recently of the worst pick-up line anyone's ever used on me:

(as I pulled into a gas station) "Hey, baby, is that a Toyota? *suave eyebrow motion*"

It was one of the more surreal "WTF? o.O" moments of my life, so I figured: Hey, maybe I could make a crack!fic out of bad pick-up lines.

Thus, I found The Most Complete and Most Useless Collection of Pick-Up Lines. 1300 pick-up lines! Many of them submitted by actual readers! And most of them bad! :D

I instantly jumped to the "What?" category because, y'know, I suddenly feared that "Hey, baby, is that a Toyota?" was an actual pick-up line that other women had been baffled by in the past. (Thankfully, it wasn't. :P)

But, I swear to god, I have not laughed so hard in an age! I got to:

"What's the difference between the stay puff marshmallow man and a stay-puff marshmallow? The marshmallow will fit in your vagina."

I just started dying! Like, seriously, on the floor in convulsions, laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. OMGWTFBBQ! The poor, poor woman who got that!

This one also gets amazing points. I think it might be worth a Darwin Award all on its own because this man will never reproduce:

"You know, you really piss me off. You are the most disgusting bitch I have ever seen. Absolutely disgraceful. Wanna suck my hairy balls?"

*diez*

What do you even say to something like that? o.O

But, yeah, I'm not even through with the site yet, and it's already the funniest shit I've encountered in an age. I highly recommend if you want to gape in disbelief at the male of the species for a few hours. :P

Tags: life, silly
Current Mood: amused

So I'm walking home from work, skipping and whistling and swinging my lunchbox jauntily, when I come to this stop sign. I stop because I'm a good little law-abiding citizen like that. And then this...vehicle stops there as well. And, OMG, it's the most retarded-ass thing I've ever seen. o.O The bottom half was a normal-looking silver car, and the top half was a jackass-yellow SUV of some sort. I swear to motherfucking god, it looked like this:



Then the following happened:

Me: "OMFGWTFBBQ!"
Driver: "Awww, yeah. I am so pimped out in my fugly-ass, chimera-monster vehicle." *drives on by*
Me: "The fuck?!?!?!"

And that's the story of my day. Ta-da! :P

ETA: I've totally decided that it shall be called the WTFmobile.

Tags: life
Current Mood: confused

kallysten just showed me this. Because she's awesome:

The best stalker pizza place EVAH!

Impotence! Nancy Drew: Danger of Deception Island! *diez laughing*

Also, on a totally unrelated note, I am now the proud owner of a watermelon. *cuddles watermelon* That is all. :P

Tags: life
Current Mood: amused

Ten minutes ago, my neighbors were having really loud sex. Like, so loud it sounded like fake porno sex.

Now, the woman is practicing operatic singing.

Clearly, my neighbors have stranger days than I do. o.O

Tags: life
Current Mood: confused

I've had the misfortune of spending a bit of time on ff.net lately, for the first time since it banned NC-17 fic...yikes, has it already been six years ago? o.O In any case, things have changed over time, as they do. For example, did you know that ff.net now has an online dictionary/thesaurus for budding young writers to use? And did you also know that, in true ff.net fashion, it promotes the promulgation of bad!fic? It's true!

Take, for example, the word 'crag', which I fed into the thesaurus for a random, boring reason that I won't go into. The thesaurus cheerfully responded by giving me an entire section on the word 'tuberosity'. o.O This was one of its favorite suggestions for 'crag'!

Apparently, ff.net would take the sentence "the cliffs rose into the morning mist" and change it to "the tuberosity thrusted erect into the moist void." OMZ! THE BAD!PR0N IS NOW WRITING ITSELF! RUN FOR THE HILLS! :P

The thesaurus was also rather fond of 'protuberance' as a synonym for 'crag'. o.O It also suggested 'monolith', which I realize that I've never actually seen as a bad euphemism for 'penis.' Why on earth not? I ask - nay, demand! Clearly, the bad!fic authors aren't trying hard enough, if I haven't heard all about monoliths plowing through crevices, amidst wild cum spurts! Dear Bad!Fic Writers, You're doing it wrong!

Heaven help us all. :P

Tags: fic
Current Mood: amused

God, I'm about to die from boredom. I should probably just go to bed and cut my losses, but it's still so early. *whines*

Also, apparently LJ decided to go sane in their latest policy changes. PH34R, THE END IS NIGH UPON US! For it is spoken that, in the End of Days, teh livejournal will suddenly stop being dicks. Also, at that time, a man with lose his friend's hammer... Oops, wrong movie. :P

Current Mood: bored

OMZ! Why amn't I a "hacker on steroids"? Clearly, I'm DOING IT WRONG! *weeps*

Seriously, at first I was convinced it had to be a Daily Show-esque parody, because...really? o.O But I think it might actually be real. Oh, Fox News, you epic fail at everything. *points and laughs*

Also, random other fun links I've been hoarding of late:

Learn the real lyrics to the Indiana Jones theme song. And then be unable to hear the song again without laughing your ass off.

Michael Rosenbaum likes to fuck inflatable sheep. In movie form. See, this is what happens when the writers go on strike for too long...

YOU HAVE TO BURN THE ROPE! The most challenging game of all time. Helpful hint: If you eat the rope, you're DOING IT WRONG!

And, after you've mastered that, can you beat THE QUEST FOR THE CROWN?

Yeah, my life is kinda strange. o.O

Tags: games, links, silly
Current Mood: amused

( Smallville )

( Supernatural )

Tags: smallville, supernatural
Current Mood: awake

( Bones )

( House )

Tags: bones, house
Current Mood: confused